Menopausal Women Are HOT!!! A humorous menopause blog about my new book and menopause journey.

Alert—AccuWeather has added a new feature to their App—Menopausal Hot Flash! Quote Colleen McIntosh from Menopause the Horror, Humility, and Humor of It All!!!

Colleen McIntosh reading her menopause book to her tomatoes

I am in the process of publishing my first book, “Menopause the Horror, Humility, and Humor of It All!!!” It only took 2.5 decades to complete and it’s only 65 pages long – but has 20 Illustrations!!

Well, let me clarify – it was 2.5 decades of compiling all my menopausal symptoms and aging concerns. It also helped that I finally quit my job of 21 years that consumed and tormented my every waking moment – which then allowed me time to work on my book. I had pages and pages of notes in a file folder that I just kept adding to whenever some manifestation of getting old occurred. It took a while just to organize all the crazed ramblings into a coherent and organized book. But somehow, I succeeded.

As a Boomer, at 64, I never understood why Menopause wasn’t discussed. It’s not that I didn’t ask about or mention my Hot Flashes or Mood Swings – but somehow the conversation always mysteriously changed to some bland inoffensive topic like, “Isn’t my cat cute?” Women of this generation just did not talk about these life changing events. It made me so confounded and so mad.

I made it my mission to tell the world or anyone who’d listen about my menopause and aging woes – in gory detail! In my book I say:

“Menopause is a parasite that catapults us into a chemical body and mind take-over. The ongoing plight of female aging begins with menopause!”

In other words, when a younger woman finds her first gray pubic hair – I cover that topic in my book. Of course, my reaction was to SCREAM! I don’t really offer solutions so much as I offer solace and support. We all go through these changes – but don’t have to go through it alone. Someone must speak up and tell future menopausal women what’s potentially to come! Also, older women who have already gone through or still going through this phase of female anguish can now empathize and laugh at the absurdity of what women have to endure.

I have 17 chapters that include:

1. Periods!

2. Hot Flashes

3. Mood Swings

4. Sleeplessness

5. Hormones

6. Memory Loss

7. Weight Gain/Depression/Lethargy

8. The Arid Desert

9. Sex (Less)

10. Elasticity

11. Gravity

12. Hair

13. Age Spots/Skin Growths

14. Inner Plumbing

15. Fashion

16. Denial

17. Positive Changes

Also, with an Introduction and In Closing – and 9 pages at the end for you to add your own Menopause and Aging Reflections. Believe me, it helps to write it all down!

I included illustrations for each chapter. I wanted my nephew to do them since he makes gobs of money as an artist and illustrator, but he said, “NO.” Really, that was the extent of his reply. I couldn’t afford him anyway – so my husband, sister and niece convinced me that I could do them myself. I like sketching cartoons of animals and people – but never considered myself remotely talented enough to put my drawings in a book!! But I sat down and drew my first “Cartoon Colleen” which is on page 9 of my book. It just came to me and I was “content” with the avatar. I based all other illustrations on that first drawing. I’m not a pro – but my nephew saw the illustrations and told me he approved and thinks that I captured my “essence” and “crazy” and “subject matter.” He said that he could have drawn fantastic cartoons (way better than mine) but could never have done as well as I did in capturing ME. All my Beta Testers said that my illustrations were integral (and hilarious) to my story. The illustrations may not be professionally done – a bit wonky and messy – but so is menopause and aging.

I hope you enjoy my images when you read my book!

My humorous menopause book will be coming out later this year. I must first learn how to market myself and build up anticipation for my soon-to-be Best Seller!! Well, I can always hope and dream! I never thought at 64 that I’d be reinventing myself and marketing this new career as an author, especially about my menopause journey! Yet another massive endeavor to learn when I have limited tech skills. I use social media for fun or taking funny pix of my dog or keeping in touch with my family - but learning Instagram, Tik Tok, Facebook and building my own website for marketing my book is DAUNTING! Also, I must learn how to make friends again! Exhausting!!!

So, writing a very personal account of my Menopause and Aging Journey, creating a humorous Menopause Blog about my new book and putting myself even further out into this crazy world is scary and exciting at the same time. I know that I will need help and guidance to get the word out and convince others to share my journey – but I hope you will be a part of it!

Menopause the Horror, Humility, and Humor of It All!!! - will be going on Pre-sale this Summer, 2023. Please pre-order my book! It really helps me or any author for people to pre-order during this period. It shows bookstores and e-tailers that you are worth ranking higher in their roster. It’s a cut-throat business.

I appreciate all the help I can get!!!

The official Book Launch date is supposed to be November 1, 2023 - pending my approving the eBook formatting. My Soft Cover Book is approved - but this is a never-ending process and I may have to update this if something goes awry!! But my intent is to launch just in time for your Holiday shopping.

I sent a pdf of my book to a PR consultant and she gave me a great review – which I hope adds some credibility to my launch:

McIntosh’s Menopause is a truly honest instructional guide for surviving and thriving through menopause. This “personal account of my aging carcass” is peppered with hilarious one-liners, from her reference to menopausal hot flashes as the original climate change to her Latin breakdown of the word menopause. It might not make you ache for the day your hot flashes begin, but you certainly won’t feel alone once you get there.

Krystina Wales Writer/PR Consultant

My book should be considered as a Humorous, Informative, Supportive gift for the following:

1. X-mas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa present for both women and men (yes, men should absolutely read this book – great stocking stuffer - especially for younger men).

2. Birthday gift – fun for Decade B-days like 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 or 80…

3. Summer read – great conversation piece at the beach.

4. Bathroom read – you can easily read a chapter while sitting on the toilet – may even help with constipation.

5. Mom’s Day or Dad’s Day present – Mom needs a good laugh and support – Dad needs to understand what Mom is going through and shut up, pay attention and give her support.

6. Baby Shower - menopause comes after giving life to other humans - so add this as the ideal gift at a Baby Shower – a gift that keeps on giving.

7. A gift for any woman approaching peri-menopause – she’ll need a good laugh.

8. A gift for ANY woman, no matter what age.

9. A gift for any man who is living with a menopausal woman – he’ll need to know what’s coming and keep his mouth shut or suffer the consequences.

10. A gift to save Womankind from going through this alone!

I really hope you’ll become a part of my community. I would love to hear your stories, without any editing, please. I can handle anything!

Please Share with your Friends, Family and even total Strangers!

“Thanks for Reading and Please Share with your Social Media Friends….I encourage you to post a review on the retail site of your choice – but I ask you to please review with a kind heart…I am old after all!

My biggest dream is to create a community of women - all ages, backgrounds and whatever floats your boat. So many things to share and so little time!! I hope you join me in discussing "woman things!" Thank you for your precious time!

Let’s be Friends!!!

Colleen McIntosh