Tattoo Blog. Part IV - F-CAW-F Reactions!
Updated: 14 hours ago
Some reactions are enthusiastic and some are just plain rude!! Get a sense of humor haters!
No matter what the reaction - I am so pleased that my Guardian Angel F-CAW-F Tattoo has struck a chord (or nerve). This tattoo has been endless entertainment!
My husband has encouraged and supported me throughout this journey (for almost 3 decades). Once I made a decision on the artwork that would adorn my 67-year-old virgin skin - I then spent weeks tattoo-scrolling for the perfect raging image of my cawing crow and the font that best represents my burning with a billion raging suns message. I do not jump willy-nilly off cliffs without extensive research (and a parachute). The consequences of my tattoo selection has to far outweigh performing such an aggressively irrational flying leap off of that cliff. My tattoo is a bird, but I am not.
So my husband Ed is thrilled that I followed through with enthusiasm. He keeps asking me to show it off with sleeveless tops (in 40-50 degree weather). I will do so with glee upon balmier climes. Just knowing my tattoo is under my long-sleeved shirt gives me a wicked thrill! Like wearing sexy underwear under your everyday clothes - or so I've heard! At night while we are reading in bed - I'll sense movement and feel my t-shirt sleeve creeping up - so Ed can admire my ink. It turns him on. With nary a twitch, I whisper, "f-caw-f."
In due time, I will be flexing my muscles to accentuate the message I wish to convey to anyone who irritates me! Sadly, our last No Kings protest was windy and cold. I really wanted to flex my arm at all the finger flippers yelling, "You're number one!" Actually, they were yelling obscenities that no one could hear - but I choose to believe karma will prevail!
I mentioned some comments based on images I sent - to a select few - in my last Tattoo Blog - Part III. The following reactions span over a few months. Wearing clothing that show off this upper arm tattoo was spotty at best.
I sent my Female Rage group (my niece Dani, my sister Bridget and my friend Jamie) the image that Lee took - a close up of my arm/tattoo - and they were sufficiently impressed. I also sent it to a couple of my ladies group for their reaction - which was perfect, "OMG I love it and it embodies the emotion you wanted. RAGE! But classy, sexy and powerful!" I sent it to my life-long girlfriend in Maine - and we compared tattoos with glee! I sent it to my mom and she reacted like a mom. Supportive and thought it was really well done, but not what she would have chosen. By the end of our 2 hour conversation - she said she'd love to get a pretty butterfly tattoo. Lee has tatted octogenerians. Maybe a X-mas gift, MOM! She had to ask my cousin Kelly (her niece) what F-CAW-F meant.....who had a good belly chuckle before telling her! God bless her sweet naive heart......sigh!
My husband and I joined the Y a few months ago. I've chatted with some ladies in the locker room and at pilates class. Everyone seems nice. There was one woman I kept running into and she was always friendly and appeared to be politically aligned with me. She's around my age. The first time I went to the Y after my tattoo was all healed - I was squirming to show it off. I ran into this woman and blurted out, "I got a tattoo!! I'm so excited." She had a physical reaction. She actually "reeled back in horror!" Now that phrase makes sense. She replied haughtily, "I would have spent all that money on a donation for the needy." I was so surprised. I was speechless, because I wasn't sure I heard it correctly?? Gradually it dawned on me that she just insulted me. I immediately thought, "Can't I do both? Can't I do something for myself for a change, as well as helping someone in need? It was imperative that I get this tattoo because the fucking world has lost its twisted mind. WTF??" All those thoughts ping-ponged through my little head and I responded out loud with, "Good for you. You should donate to the needy." As she hurridly grabbed her clothes and stuff, she huffily mumbled, "Well....congratulations...I guess." Then she practically ran away and moved to a different section of the locker room (within eyesight) to finish changing. I was still a bit rattled and hurt by her wierd reaction and then relocation (like I smelled bad). But then my hurt took a dark turn and I got mad. Grumbling, I said under my breath, "F-caw-f, you mean troll!" I told my sister, because that tattoo-hating woman was the first person (non family or friends) I was willing to show my tattoo. Bridget thought that maybe she was an orthodox or conservative Jew - which prohibits marking of the skin. Or maybe she believes in spending all her money helping others? Or maybe she's just a snotty shrew? The most important part of this incident - is that she never even saw my tattoo. She tried to tattoo-shame me before I had my big reveal. In hind sight - if she'd seen my F-CAW-F tattoo - she probably would have clutched her pearls and needed smelling salts. Apparently, I chose poorly. So, f-caw-f you judgmental bitch!
I've decided if I ever run into her again (which so far I haven't) - I will pretend we've never talked and the tattoo conversation never occurred and treat her like a total stranger. The alternative would be illegal. Just sayin......
When I posted a picture of my tattooed arm (that Lee, my tattooist, took) on social media, I got some really great reactions from friends, family and followers:
"Wow wow wow! Whoot Whoot. Go Big or GO Home"
"WOW WOW WOW! Love this!
"Whoa (3 black heart emoji's) love it"
"My shero!"
"I am completely obsessed with this. It is so good."
"I love this so much!"
"That is awesome. It's a lot bigger than I thought you were going to get but man it is awesome!!!!!"
"Awesome"
"Nice, let's follow each other" (marketer/promoter - location unknown) - my answer is NO
"Send me this post" (marketer/promoter) - my answer is delete and NO
I've also had a bunch of creepy men wanting to get to know me better. (Gag....Verp) - Block and Delete!
Perverts, scammers and bots need not apply!
Most people like my second skin! Thank you Guardian Tattoo Angel! (my sister Bridget came up with that charming phrase).
When we went to visit my family in Florida in March - I packed a bunch of sleevless tops - to show off my tat and chronicle reactions (or lack of reactions). I was prepared!!
We arrived in Orlando - expecting 80's temps - only to add an additional layer for the chilly welcoming. My nephew and niece both have tattoos - so this was a fairly lackluster reaction. My nephew did think it was bigger than expected. Not much to tell here! Younger people aren't as impressed?
When we got to our next destination - Naples - we were greeted with warmer climes. The first thing I did when we got to my in-laws - was tell them that I had something to show them. I prefaced it with some details - so I didn't cause apoplectic reactions. I showed Kathy first and she oohed and aahed and then looked at the letters more closely. She immediately started giggling really hard and called Bob over. Bob said, "Whoa...!" Then he asked, "What do the letters mean?" Kathy and I giggled, told him and he immediately started laughing. Later when I said, "F-CAW-F" as a crow - they laughed out loud and very impressed with my crow cawing impersonation. Every time they saw the tattoo - they would start to giggle - so I milked this crow for the entire visit!
The only time I was in public with a sleeveless top was when we went to TopGolf. Bob is a golfer and we did this last time they visited us in Baltimore. We had a good lunch and lots of laughs - so we asked to do it again. TG is always busy, so we had a large family next to us. The staff kindly set us all up to start playing while waiting for our lunch. I took a couple golf lessons during my first marriage and immediately decided I hated golf. Firstly, the male instructor was a DICK. Secondly, I sucked. But, hitting golf balls with family can be a lot of fun. Based on our previous TG adventure - I pretty much knew my fate. Bob did very well and expected to be in first place. Kathy took a gentler approach and as a result got a lot of "bounce" points. Ed was also admirable, in spite of never playing goof (yes, I spelled that correctly). The three of them would take turns getting ahead of each other. I was strictly there for entertainment! It wasn't all bad - I occassionally (accidentally) hit some good balls. However, more often than not, I would hit the ball and would duck because it was ricocheting on multiple surfaces before disappearing to unknown locales (which apparently was NOT on the enormous golf course/field with various sandtraps and targets). Luckily, I didn't kill or injure any of my group or the large family next to us. But, I did make everyone watch me every time my turn came up and even gathered a tiny crowd. Of course, I kept yelling, "I'M NUMBER 4! I'M NUMBER 4!" They all knew we were a party of 4. At one point, management was in the crowd - but for a good laugh - not to escort me out. Throughout this 90 minutes of hellish recreation - we had laughed until we were sick and no one got pissy trying to compete. I was so engrossed with not inflicting pain on anyone - that I forgot all about my tattoo on full display. When we were paid up and leaving (our waitress said we were the most entertaining/fun table) - Kathy and I went to the ladies room. One of the managers stopped me and asked, "Excuse me. Can I see your tattoo?" I had a brief moment of panic and fully prepared to f-CAW-f at him, feint left and duck into the women's bathroom - but - when I cautiously showed him my tattoo - he was so excited and laughing said, "I have a t-shirt with that same thing." He then called over his boss to see the tattoo. He stared perplexed and then burst out laughing. They were older white guys - with a sense of humor. Whew!! We were in Florida - so I it could have gone horribly wrong!
My vacuum - Sharkbait or Sharkie for short - has also gotten on the tattoo train. I've done a bunch of SM posts on my BFF. We spend lots of time together and he is included in all my shenanigans. My last SM post was of us showing off our new tattoos. My sister, Bridget, sent me some temporary crow tattoos for testing - which Sharkbait found and demanded I adorn his dust cup in solidarity. He was very supportive of my choice and also a tad jealous. He also wanted to be a Bad Ass! Below is my post and images:
"Prior to vacuuming today, Sharkbait insisted on sporting his own tattoos on his carapace (he's up to the C's in the dictionary). Since he couldn't attend last weekends NO KINGS protest, he wanted to show solidarity with his own statement. He also insisted on applying them himself - which is quite difficult without opposable thumbs (one is upside down). I applauded his passion and we posed commemorating his resistance. Of course, he kept mumbling his irritation that I didn't get a "SHARK" tattoo!!"
Sharkie is hooked! He wants more tats. He asked, "Ooh, ooh, can I get a vacuum tattoo? Something sexy?" He's got a crush on the next door neighbors Miele!! She's French, classy and has great suction! She's a little out of his league (price range) but Sharkie is spunky and hell-bent on winning her hose (hand in human-speak). I endorse this love match and will be a champion for his cause. They will make the cutest little hose-held vacs!!!
Ed was so excited for me getting my body art that he wanted to add another. He's been talking about a tribute to his work in film and TV for the past 4 decades. He worked for the WWF (now known as the WWE - World Wildlife Federation won that infringement court case), many films, TV shows and the Olympics. He wanted Lee Verzosa to do the honors - because he's the BEST!! He decided to start with - Grips and IATSE. He worked as a Grip on film and TV under his local union IATSE 487. The "Brawn" of the film set!! One of his co-workers is a graffiti artist and has a tag which Ed used as his tattoo vision. Ed also wanted to incorporate his union logo in this tattoo session. He and Lee talked it over and Lee came up with honoring the GRIPS TAG while adding the IATSE bug as the DOT on the I. It was very clever and melded well with the GRIPS artwork. Like me, Ed will add to this at a later time. I sent an image of his tat to my Female Rage ladies. They said, "You guys don't do anything in a small way!" I replied, "NEVER!" Ed is now hooked on Lee as well!
BTW - I ran into "THAT" woman at the YMCA locker room. She was gossiping with another woman about a mutual friends problems. Apparently she will gossip loudly but despises tattoos! I calmly went to my locker and kept my back to them. When the other gossiper left - I shifted my body away from the anti-tattoo woman and maintained the "I'm gray-rocking you tattoo-hater" at all times as she moved around. I then cooly left the room, never acknowledging her existence - as I turned the corner, I whispered, "Bitch." As I sauntered down the hallway - thinking I was alone - I then said the bad word - c**t. Of course, there was a man walking behind me. I just glared at him like any post-menopausal woman would do - daring him to say something. A lot of my menopause symptoms have faded - except the menopausal residual - RAGE!
Now it's time to share with the world. Summer will be here soon and I'll be wearing a lot of sleeveless tops. Or as Ed calls them - wife-beaters. I'll call them Husband-Beaters! I am officially a 67-year-old BADASS!!
Two months later - we are in May - and there has been mostly chilly &/or rainy days since our trip to Florida. I have not been able to wear clothing that shows off my tattoo. This weather pattern has been detrimental to my F-CAW-F message!! I will keep updating this blog as the weather warms up.
I went for an early morning mammogram today. The technician was a younger woman and started gushing at me as we walked down the hallway. I was not sufficiently caffeinated to respond - until I realized she was complimenting me. She loved my body, tights, boots, jacket, scarf, glasses - my whole look. I was taken aback. When we got to the changing room - her gushing continued. She said, "Your whole look is so chic. I'm European (heavy accent of unknown origin) and I really admire your look. Especially here." I knew what she meant, so I said, "I wish I was European." She laughed. We had a moment of unspoken truths. I thanked her profusely and accepted this unexpected flattery from another woman.
After I changed (open-fronted gown) I started the mammogram. I opted for the turbo breast vise machine (Enhanced Breast Cancer Detection Screening). While she instructed me on my positioning - all was going well - until I unearthed my right arm. As she rotated my body and arm - I noticed she was staring at my tattoo. Time slowed down. Her furrowed brow was an indicator that she did not understand the F-CAW-F message. I almost explained what it really said, but hesitated. I didn't want to spoil our bonding moment. We finished squishing my breasts and said our fond goodbyes. I'll leave it up to her to look up what my tattoo means. Hopefully, she'll laugh. (more on the mammogram in another blog)
I recently went on my annual trip to visit family in Maine (early August). Weather was perfect for sleeveless tops. I flew into Portland to spend the night with my niece and nephew. They got to see my tat in the flesh and loved it. I took a bus up to Bangor the next morning to visit my sister, brother-in-law and more family. It was warm enough that I got to show off my inked arm quite a bit. Family liked it, of course, but I needed to test it out with people I don't know. I got a chance when my sister took me to meet her bookstore co-workers. I've heard such wonderful things about all of them - I felt we'd already met. Books-A-Million in Bangor is a really nice store. We stopped to meet one of her co-workers and gradually drew a small crowd of them in the book stacks. We all shared stories, tattoos and laughed til we had to dismantle for fear of being reprimanded. We were having way too much fun! What a phenomenal group to work with. They liked and appreciated my tattoo and message!! FYI - my sisters' initials are BAM - same as Books-A-Million.
My sister and I decided to go to Ellsworth to get cheesecake for my nephew and nieces dinner that night and made a couple stops along the way. She told me there was an old airstream along the way that has had a For Sale sign forever and we decided to stop and look. My husband and I adore Airstreams and in a perfect world - would love to get one - but cost is prohibitive. The "airstream" was right beside the road and we pulled into this glorified junk yard. It was huge. This behemoth did not look like an airstream. It did, however, have the esteemed name on the side. I had no intentions to buy this piece of junk, but took pix for fun to show Ed. Oddly, it's insides were completely stripped, but it had an old antique office desk and armoire inside? We couldn't figure out how they got them through the tiny doors and also how the rotting floor hadn't collapsed. We decided to leave and while heading for the exit, a man started approaching our vehicle. Bridget politely stopped. The first thing this guy did was lean into my passenger window. NOTE: When one woman turns away the minute you invade our personal space and open your mouth - while the other one is shifting her body away from you - being socially polite, but in NO WAY coquettishly flirty - READ THE FUCKING MENOPAUSAL ROOM (car) YOU ANTIQUATED BUZZARD!!
Let me describe him. Older white male, probably in his 60's (but hard to tell in Maine), longer gray hair, big gray Sam Elliot mustache, missing teeth, aviator sunglasses, sporting a wife-beater black tank top and old jeans. He somehow thought he was hot stuff and smirked while asking me, "You have a tattoo.....uh....what does that say?" Bridget immediately turned her head away from him and I knew why. I maintained politeness, but wary of this obvious unenlightened douchebag and said, "You know what it says." He creepily denied and so I said, "F-CAW-F." He laughted, "I just wanted to hear you say it." I almost gagged. In hindsight, I should have yelled, "F-CAW-F! FLOOR IT BRIDGET!!" and tore out of there knocking this disgusting jerk down in our squealing dust. Then he greasily asked if Bridget and I were sisters. We said yes and he snarkily replied, "Ya think?" He made some marital crack about me that I've scrubbed out my memory, but I remember my unsmiling response was, "I'm a VERY happily married woman." He peevishly responded, "Well, that's too bad." Everything about this pig (no offense to actual pigs) was repulsive. He reminded me of why I hate so many entitled white men. This delusional male who still thought he was hot stuff made our skin crawl and thought verbally molesting us was his god-given right. I'm sure our expressions of disgust got his pee-brain (I meant to say pee) to finally realize we were NOT AND NEVER WILL BE interested in this one-sided attempt to (verp) seduce, so he petulantly backed out of my personal space. He crossed his pasty white arms and tried to convince me to buy the ancient ugly airstream. The troll even tried to tell me that we'd need a semi to pull it - because it was sooooo big! He threw his company decal into my lap and said to keep him in mind. We closed the windows and left wishing we could shower off his stench. Some men never evolve past the age of repugnant. You treat female customers like that - even 67 year-old women - you deserve to be called out. When driving down Rte. 1 from Bangor to Ellsworth - just look for the ugly huge tortured airstream - and give him the ancient Greek digitus impudicus! Sounds better than flipping the bird! I did nothing to encourage this puerile and unwanted vile attention. Harassment is not a selling point. Asshole!
We wiped that foul experience from our souls and stopped at 1a Relics antique store - fantastic building and full of collector antiques and then got our cheesecake at Momo's which is a unique experience and phenomenal cheesecake. This is a MUST if you are in the Ellsworth Maine area. We got eight different slices and they did not disappoint or go to waste!!
We then traveled up to The County - northern Maine - Washburn. Bridget and I stayed at Mom's and the rest of the family at a really cool Airbnb. Everyone who saw my tattoo loved it and all laughed. My cousin Kelly told me to make it my vanity license plate. Hmmmm...great idea!! I made two trips to Teresa's Corner Cafe and Bakery for the biggest lobster rolls ever!! Check them out on Facebook. Two stops at Houlton Farms Dairy ice cream.
I ended this portion of my Maine trip with my high school best friend Corky, driving me back to Bangor and talking non-stop for the next 6 hours. A perfect ending before heading off to Portland with my sister.
A while ago, my husband asked me to write my autograph three times. Random request? When I asked why - he said that he wanted to get a tattoo of my signature. Ohhhh - kay? He got the tattoo while I was in Maine and it turned out really well. He put in on his left hand with the signature ending under his wedding ring. So sweet! I'd share it, but I don't want someone to steal my signature. It's pretty accurate!
As a Post-Script - my husband just bought a small northeastern dory sailboat. He originally was going to build it - but got a fortuatous facebook post from someone who was selling the exact boat he was going to build - with all the bells and whistles - for half the cost of building it himself. This is his baby and I am glad he opted for the cheaper option. He learned the basics (thank you Youtube) and follows my rules. He wears a life-vest, has a waterproof phone case, has retro-fitted safety features, brings fresh water, wears his new captain's hat and has put up the black pirate flag I got him. Also, he has to call me when he puts the boat in the bay and when he pulls it out on shore. His retirement hobby!
Would I get another tattoo? Abso-fucking-lutely!! I think I have one picked out. An apt twin for F-CAW-F and a continuation of my 67 years of RAGE!
If anyone would like to share their foible(s) or Tattoo Designs and experiences or aging mishaps - we could commiserate on our peculiarities , sick humor and frustrations - with an open forum of like-minded challenged adults. No shaming on this blog!!
If you want even more info on life, menopause, aging and other fun observations – not only check out my book but I have blogs that go into all sorts of funny and informative crap about being a woman of many years, experiences and observations . My primate and doctor appointment and middle child blogs are a hoot!! It’s better to educate with honesty, horror, humility and humor than remain silent.
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Colleen McIntosh
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