Tattoo Blog. Part III. My Second Skin Revealed!

My Second Skin Masterpiece Revealed! Fucking Awesome!

My second skin has finally been revealed - on full display for all to see!

I've been feeling rage for sooooo long. This tattoo embodies all that pent up emotion and gave birth to my second skin. I decided to tattoo the message for all to see. To finally let go of some of my fears and boldly flex my arm at all the bullies, misogynists, liars, haters - you know who you are!

For those who have denigrated, demeaned, dismissed or abused me. F-CAW-F!!!

I'm also calling this body and soul changing experience - my personal ARM-a-geddon! Allowing my spirit guide to take wing. I stand by my choice of tattoo. Time to broadcast in 3D format - my stance in this current corrupt environment (as well as any past conflicts). I've always been referred to as silly or dramatic. Well, I think I have earned that moniker with my new second skin body art. You're welcome! I've finally aged into my rebellion decade - which I hope to continue until I croak (or CAW my last breath).

The decision to get this particular tattoo has many layers (and ink punctures). My personality, OCD, fear of change, internal self-sabotaging dialog - needed a massive jolt. I'll never stop being an entertaining ditz (monkey), but need to redirect the attention to my arm. Letting the raging crow tattoo speak for me is cathartic - purging my body and soul of self-pity and negativity. A renewal of my truth.

So being flighty and bird-brained - it seems appropriate that I selected a CROW as my spirit guide totem. A guardian of protectioin and strength. Crows are the most intelligent birds and can hold a grudge if you fuck with them. Thank god I didn't choose a turkey or ostrich!

The choices we make are often questioned or criticized by others - as if we are incapable of making good decisions. Women, in particular, are veterans in this battle. That is why trusting "it will all work out" - is a difficult task for me. We are the protectors, the what-ifers. I hope that every time I look in a mirror and see my majestic tattoo - I will claw my way into the light - and live with less regrets or fears and strive for more contentment. It's time to amp life up into a tat-nado of new possibilities! I'm so happy to be completing Tattoo Blog Part III - my second skin revealed!!

I spent every break in this tattoo art infested bathroom. Super Cool!

In my last Tattoo Blog - Part II - The Tattoo Artist Pageant - the winner was Lee Verzosa of Chapterhouse Tattoos. I unfortunately had no crown or bouquet of flowers to offer - but bequeathed him with a copy of my book - Menopause the Horror, Humility and Humor of It All! He was very touched and loved the personal gift of my menopausal angst. I could not have found a better artist or person to be my first - tattoo artist. Maybe I'm romanticizing Lee a bit much, but for me to engrave my body with permanent ink - I needed to create a hero for my story. Lee is confident, humble, kind and gentle - the perfect hero. He is my forever tattoo artist!

Ed "chillin" in the waiting area.

I wouldn't be surprised if you're expecting a big, blubbering, whiny baby blog about my excruciating first tattoo experience. Sorry to disappoint Bitches!!

My first appointment was on a Friday at 3pm. Ed came with me for support. Lee was working on the design template based on my specifications. I had emailed him prior to the appointment with 3 images and notes. We also talked on the phone - because he is old-fashioned and thinks talking is more personal than texting - to walk me through the process so I'll be prepared physically and emotionally. While Ed and I hung out - I was nervous. I was thinking, "I'm not James Bond. Cool, calm and collected while surrounded by his enemies. Asking for his martini's to be shaken not stirred. If I drank, I'd be ordering mine, "I'll have a martini, euphoric with a twinge of doubt, please." That's how I felt as I sat waiting for that first ink piercing and leap of faith.

Lee's stenciled on etch-a-sketch! Pre-puncture!

I'm excited but with some tattoo jitters.

Lee came out with the tattoo pattern. I was a little daunted by the sketch, but shoved my fears down into my garbage can of doubts. We went to a mirror and I rolled up my sleeve to see if this matched my upper arm area. It was a little big - so he scaled it down and moved on to getting the stencil completed - which would be affixed to my arm as a pattern for him to ink. It filled the area - utilizing my entire upper arm. The strategic placement of the claws fell atop my bicep perfectly. When I flexed, the claws and tail appeared to move (hardly detectible - but I'll ramp up my bicep routine - more one-arm push ups coming up). The first thing Lee said when he placed the design on my skin was, "I can see the definition in your upper arm and the tattoo conforms to your muscles (I only heard Huge Muscles or something like that)." I blurted out, "OMG! You noticed my muscles! Thank you!" (inside voice said, "I love you.") I showed Ed and he laughed, but didn't disagree. I was a bit overwhelmed by the tat real estate, but chose to fully commit to this work of rebel art and hopefully to fully shock. My intended reaction! There were a bunch of other people getting tats throughout the late afternoon/evening - all younger and adding another piece of self expressioin to their already adorned bodies. I can now see why it's addictive.

One more look before total submission to the tattoo gods. A virgin sacrifice!

Once Lee had prepped and sterilized his station (and me) - I sat down for the moment of tatting (truth). The first stage was the detailed outline of the crow and letters.

Raging Crow Outlined! I survived and flexing my approval!

Close up of the fully outlined tattoo! My arm has come to life!

I sat in a chair (not lying down on a comfy tattoo bed) with my arm draped over a padded stand - while Lee sat facing my right arm. He gave me instruction on how to sit, placement of arm and head, remaining still, letting him know if I was in need of a stretch or water or food or sneeze, etc. I quickly realized that the hardest part of this process was going to be - NOT moving unless told to move. He fully informed me of the process and gently warmed me up prior to the first needle imprint. It stung a little - like a flu shot - but not painful. Stubbing my baby toe is painful! This was almost too easy. The noise of the "needle tool/gun" was more unpleasant than the puncturing. My hearing/tinnitus hates ambient droning noise (because I already have irritating droning noise in my left ear). As he continued, I quickly realized that I was holding my breath. I slowly released while he worked. That unspoken fear ebbed and I started to relax. Unfortunately, with relaxing, came words. I started vomiting drivel from my mouth. I soon realized that I apparently talk with my hands while yammering and sharing too much information. I couldn't move my right arm - but my left hand kept flying up to emphasize my topic. It had a mind of its own. It's almost impossible for me to NOT vibrate and gesticulate while I'm awake. I offered to be clamped into a straight jacket, if that would help. Lee was very kind and patient and softly asked me to lower my left arm. I kept apologizing - becausse I did it more than once. He calmed me by saying that he had fantastic reflexes and immediately lifts the tattoo gun when my arm twitches. So there were no irreparable errors - thanks to Lee. I didn't want a crow that looks like it was being torn asunder because of my fidgeting. I ended up solving the problem by gripping the seat of the chair between my legs. I left an imprint by the end of the first hour when we took a pee break.

Can you find the peeping Ed? I'm being trolled!

During our first session, I told him some of my back story and why I chose to get a tattoo at my age. My penchant for attracting narcissistic bullies and my commitment to repel them now and forever - was a major motivation. I talked a lot about my sister and the women in my life. I told him how important creativity was and is for me - acting, singing, dancing, writing, etc. I didn't feel like being silly or funny during this momentous induction into the tattoo hall of fame. It was more somber and dignified. Lee was curious about my blog. He said that he wanted to read some of my musings - however feminine leaning. He told me he was raised by women, so I knew he would understand my humor and woes - accepting me with kindness and empathy. That was the moment I decided to give him one of my books (although I was a bit nervous about my childish amateur avatar images).

This is Lee's station. We are a perfect match! Each artist has their own unique style.

I'm typically like a shark and have to move constantly - sitting for an hour is uncomfortable for me. We periodically took breaks for Lee to stretch his back and me my ass and also empty my teensy bladder. I kept taking pix in the mirrors of my progress. It was fascinating watching the definition appear and come to life. I couldn't change my mind, which gave me courage. I was proud of myself for following through with something I'd been squawking about for years. I have to thank my sister, Bridget, for sending me that funny embroidery of the crow/f-caw-f image. The other tattooists kept checking out Lee's work. When we completed the lettering on my upper arm - the female artists laughed and approved the message. One of the males had to ask me what it meant. Sigh...........I'll be explaining this tattoo to at least half the viewers (and my mom).

My inspiration!

Lee had some observations about my skin/arm. While working on the back side of my upper arm (near the old(er) lady wing flap area), Lee said that he had to "pull and spread" the skin more tautly - because of less elasticity. I couldn't disagree because it's a challenging area to recoup and retighten as you age. But it also pertains to younger folks who don't work out or care. He did, however, remark on my healthy skin. Lee said it was easy to tat because I obviously drank a lot of water and take care of my body. I fucking work my ass off to maintain any semblance of a youthful physique - not cosmetically buy physically. Thank you Pilates!!

The letters on my upper arm (shoulder bone) were the most sensitive area. Stubbing my baby toe is waaaaayyyyyy worse!

Meanwhile, Ed was snapping some photos while Lee worked. He was a trooper. He thought it looked fantastic and so proud of me. By the end of the outlining and double outline for depth of field - Lee asked if I wanted to continue or schedule a second session. I had mixed emotions because I was anxious to finish - but my stomach decided for me. I hadn't eaten much during the day (too nervous) and was starving!! Lee took pictures, cleaned, lubed and saran-wrapped my arm prior to leaving.

Day 2 - F-CAW-F all filled in! I'm officially a REBEL!

We scheduled my final session for Tuesday - 4 days later. I had no adverse reaction to the outlining and Lee felt confident I could finish mine sooner rather than waiting a week or two. Ed and I decided to go next door to get a bite to eat (actually I demanded we go next door before I murdered someone). I had a strange reaction once seated. I started shivering uncontrollably and a little light headed. I have no fear of needles or blood - so I thought this was odd - even for me. I was gulping down water and growled my order fast. As I trembled, I started shoving tatertots (not my dog) into my pie-hole! I was shaking, starving and talking with my mouth full - in equal measure. I'm always freezing, but I believe this was after-shock! My voracious appetite felt like I'd lived through a battle (PTSTD - post traumatic stress tattoo disorder). It turns out - this is a natural reaction when getting tattooed. Lee said that I'm crashing from my adrenaline high. Quite a rush! Quite an appetite!

Wrapped for beddy-bye. Keeping my baby safe!

I was given instructions for protecting my new-born tattoo.

1. Purchase or have on hand - Paper towels, disposable gloves, alcohol, antibacterial soap, paper tape, saran wrap, fresh tube of Aquaphor , Curel unscented lotion - no cross contamination.

2. Clean that area separately from the rest of my body.

3. Sterilize hands prior to touching it.

4. Wash the tattoo area 3 x daily.

5. Never use our towels or washcloths on tattoo - gently dab off with paper towel.

6. Wear freshly cleaned loose tops.

7. Aquaphor - thin coating - after every cleaning.

8. Cover the tattoo with saran wrap after cleaning and lubing and use paper tape to hold in place prior to bed.

9. Try not to sleep on that side for 3 nights. (Almost impossible since I am a flip flopper)

10. Step and repeat for each tat session.

11. After that initial protection is complete - I swap out Aquaphor for Curel lotion. But sterilize/wash tattoo for 2 weeks until healed.

12. NEVER LET ANYONE TOUCH THE TATTOO.

I had flaking and minimal itching prior to my second round. Lee was impressed and very pleased that I listened and followed orders. OCD can be a positive ailment! Aside from the disruptive sleep - especially when I slept on my back and activated my apnea - I had a really easy recovery time - no scabbing, pain and hardly any itching. I felt so relieved and a bit smug.

Unlike my first sexual experience - my virgin tattoo was satisfying, relatively painless and left me euphoric. Hmmmmm.........

There have been times in my life that I have felt "Tits Out Confidence" in achieving my goals. Playing Audrey in Little Shop of Horrors, marrying Ed, writing my menopause book and now - getting my forever tattoo. Treasure those ups!

Selecting Lee, a veteran tattoo artist, is another UP. He works in fine needle(point) and with fine-lined precision. An artist from birth. A skilled perfectionist. The tat healed quicker as a result of his delicate touch. He also told me, "If someone comes up to you and tries to touch it - DO NOT LET THEM!"

Day 2 - Second phase - shading and feather definition. Making my tattoo take wing!

My second session was even easier. Ed was working - so I was solo. But I was relaxed and excited for the filling in and shading portion of the process. I got to meet and talk with some of the other artists - who are all talented and super cool. I really liked Ashli Hill. She apparently listened to Lee's and my conversation the first session and thought I was cool and interesting. Ashli also collects kewpie dolls and has a shelf of naked parts and old dolls that are creepy and avant-garde. She repurposes vintage bags and kewpie doll heads affixed in the eclectic design. I'd buy one!

Ashli's tattoo station. Loved her cute creepy kewpie dolls!

Lee and I chatted a lot about his life this time. Such an interesting individual. I barely felt the stippling and shading he was doing on the feathers. Filling in the letters in full black - was the most intense tatting - but still a low pain grade. He added a sprinkling of fine dots at the bottom of the letters which gave them a whole new dimension of angst. The crow truly came alive - after his shading. It is so fucking awesome!! Ed got off a little early and popped by to see how I was doing. He was floored and a bit jealous.

Mirrors literally everywhere. Every break - I snapped more images of my new arm candy! Who needs a man!

Lee and I took breaks and grew closer each minute. I have never trusted a stranger as much as I have trusted Lee. The whole experience was fresh and my newfound confidence in another human made me want to cry - tears of joy. About a half hour before completion - I started getting the trembles again. So we threw my flannel shirt over me to keep me from ruining the final details.

My view from Lee's tat area. Such a fun, colorful and artsy parlor!

Once Lee was finished and satisfied - we admired his work. I was blown away. I was dizzy with this magnificent piece of art on my arm. My elation was obvious in my blushed cheeks, enormous smile and quivering uncontrollably. We asked a client on a short break to take a photo of us together. I took more pix and Lee took an even better one for his portfolio. Before I left we discussed the next stage. We will add some atmosphere around the crow and letters - using the negative space for gray wispy angry clouds. We also talked about coloring the crow eye red. I wanted to continue right then - but we decided that I should live with this for a while. Let it heal and book the appointment in the near future. I can't wait!!!

Don't look at the wrinkly face or lack-luster hair - Look at the tattoo. Look at it! LOOK AT IT!!!

I am part of a club now. A slightly insane, dangerous and addictive club. But the coolest club EVER!! I am already thinking about my next tattoo and what special meaning it will convey. Revealing more of my inner (second skin) self. More importantly, the location that will cause me little to no pain and my old(er) skin can show off without wrinkles destroying the rat-a-tat-tat design!

Did my tattoo cost a lot - yes. Was it worth every penny - yes and more! Actually, Lee is an honest artist and only charges for actual tatting time - not all my pee breaks and chatting! That would have blown my budget!!

I am so over-the-moon happy I did this and with the end result. I also gained a new friend. Lee and I are forever tied together and I feel honored to be called his friend. My New BFF!!

My new BFF! Lee Verzosa was perfect! I am so lucky and honored to be his artistic vessel! My cheeks hurt from smiling! BTW - my sister asked if I was choking him!

Ed said to me, "Now, if we are ever in a car accident - you can easliy be identified." Always the optimistic charmer!

I sent my Female Rage group (my niece Dani, my sister Bridget and my friend Jamie) the image that Lee took - a close up of my arm/tattoo - and they were blown away. I also sent it to a couple of my ladies group for their reaction - which was perfect, "OMG I love it and it embodies the emotion you wanted. RAGE! But classy, sexy and powerful!" I sent it to my life-long girlfriend in Maine - and we compared tattoos with glee! I sent it to my mom and she reacted like a mom. Supportive and thought it was really well done, but not what she would have chosen. By the end of our 2 hour conversation - she said she'd get a pretty butterfly tattoo. Lee has tatted octogenerians. Maybe a X-mas gift, MOM! She also had to ask what F-CAW-F meant........

Now it's time to share with the world. Summer is coming up and I'll be wearing a lot of sleeveless tops. Or as Ed calls them - wife-beaters. I'll call them Husband-Beaters! I am officially a 67-year-old BADASS!!

I may do a quick Tattoo Blog - Part IV - because I want to share reactions from total strangers. A part of me hopes I get kicked out of some store or some mom covers her innocent babies eyes from the scary subversive old lady tattoo. That would be sooooo cool!

Would I get another tattoo? Abso-fucking-lutely!!

Sharkbait, my BFF vacuum, insisted on getting his own tattoos. Unfortunately, he applied them himself!

With no opposable thumbs, Sharkbait, applied a tattoo upside-down!

If anyone would like to share their foible(s) or Tattoo Designs and experiences or aging mishaps - we could commiserate on our peculiarities , sick humor and frustrations - with an open forum of like-minded challenged adults. No shaming on this blog!!

If you want even more info on life, menopause, aging and other fun observations – not only check out my book but I have blogs that go into all sorts of funny and informative crap about being a woman of many years, experiences and observations . My primate and doctor appointment and middle child blogs are a hoot!! It’s better to educate with honesty, horror, humility and humor than remain silent. 

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Please help spread the word that my book is available on Amazon - Menopause the Horror, Humility, and Humor of It All!

Thanks again for your support and encouragement. I am so humbled by your kindness. You are forever my Super Hero’s!!!

Remember – Women Ignite and Women Unite! 

Thanks for taking the time to read my book and my blog. Tell all your friends, family, superheroes, tattoo sluts and SM followers!

Let’s be Friends!!

Colleen McIntosh