Growing Old(er) is a Full Time Job!

Working hard while looking for the benefits!

Recently in Savannah contemplating my Full Time Job!

Before I begin my blog topic - I want to mention that I've done the Positive Pause Podcast with Claire Gill, Founder of the National Menopause Foundation. Claire is my Superhero! Please check out their website for a wealth of information on everything menopause, women and growing older. I am eternally grateful for this opportunity to share my own personal journey on the Positive Pause Podcast (#32)!!

https://nationalmenopausefoundation.org/podcast-2/

Being a senior citizen is a full-time job - and I'm doing it for free. Essentially slave labor. I'm underpaid, underappreciated and irrelevant in today's current environment - all in the name of being an old(er) woman! I pay for some of my own health care and there are no paid vacations and no company perks! Actually, very similar to my previous job!

I'm having Blogger's Block lately and unable to concentrate due to a variety of issues and events. I've got constipation of the brain! Every time I start to write - my gray matter can't focus on one topic - but rapidly richochets around my tiny head - rebounding from banal to apocalyptic concerns sans focus. Even writing this paragraph is hard. But I'll keep trying becuase writing soothes me and makes me happy - as long as I don't go ranting off-topic. I can't promise that I won't!

I'm sure everyone has seen those commercials about growing older and entering retirement. The laughing and contented visuals of the attractive healthy senior couple - holding hands and staring adoringly into each other's eyes. Walking on an island beach, sailing on a cruise, doing yoga in the park, playing pickleball, taking pottery classes, gardening, etc. - blissfully secure in their finances, health, happiness and future. Spending money like it's an endless fountain of monetary joy - breathing in mountain fresh air like their bodies will never betray them with receding hairlines, saggy boobs, arthritic hands, etc. - plus aches, pains or illness - interacting with others like society actually cares about seniors. We all strive for those make-believe scenarios, but these ads are fictional for most of us. Reality is a watered-down-cold-shower version. I know that younger adults are really pissed off at baby boomers for ruining our world. We are not blameless - BUT - not all baby boomers are living the cozy high-life and ignoring these grievances. We care deeply about our planet and rage against the injustices, as well. I am not part of the 1% or even the 20% of the commercialized fantasy seen in TV ads, TV shows or in movies. I am part of the majority of seniors that worked hard and finding out that the JOB OF LIFE continues even after retirement. We are not destitute, but we are not gleefully spending money like we have a "mint" in our basement. We diligently watch our finances and have been planning for retirement our whole adult lives. Reaping the benefits is our dream - harvesting them is laborious!

As I grew up, I noted the older family members who eventually withdrew from the daily grind (work force) and segued into the "Golden Years" (old(er) age) of full retirement. A time of leisure and enjoyment. Often younger than I was, when I quit my job at 62. Comfortable in their pension plans and owning their homes. Collecting Social Security benefits at full retirement age. Enjoying their lake-front camp, renovating their homes or moving to a sunnier clime, planning their vacations and fulfilling their bucket lists. A time of securely harnessing the benefits from those 40/50+ years of toiling for a living to pay the bills, feed your loved ones, providing money for college funds - whether as self-employed or working for "The Man." All those years of saving and financially planning for the day you give the finger to the establishment and finally savor all the things you dreamed of doing before you croak! Typically, that period of kicking back and completing that bucket list is a somewhat narrow window of time - before you physically are unable to achieve climbing Mount Everest. But millions upon millions have accomplished this final stage of life and died with contentment. However, millions upon millions of people continue to struggle in this final stage and die destitute or close to it. Life is not equitable.

My doctor appointments are rarely straight forward and often crazy! Today I had an eye appointment with my Optometrist. It has been a year since I had cataract surgery and I wanted to make sure that my "reading" perscription had not changed. I do not currently have a vision plan - so I wanted to make sure that I was just seeing them for an eye exam and not all the other additional tests and costs that I had previously paid for. Just prior to leaving for my appointment this morning - my husband discovered that the colonoscopy prep solution that I purchased at CVS yesterday was not charged to my HSA account - but his! He immediately called our bank to ask why. They had me down as a dependent - not a primary of my own account. The painful discussion with the bank revealed that they sent me the wrong card and I assumed it was my original HSA account card. It was not. I'd already dismantled (shredded) the old card and assumed this was my new one. Banks don't do anything above and beyond anymore - you are just a number to them - even if you've been with the bank for 27 years. Needless to say, with much frustration we ended the call and I ran out the door to my eye appointment without access to my HSA account. Once again, I needed to be my own advocate and did not want to walk away from the appoinment with a $500 bill - out of my own pocket. I arrived with resolve and fire in my heart - ready to do battle or die!! Always ask up front what the costs will be prior to entering an exam room. I assumed I'd be charged $70 for an eye exam. Period!! However, when I completed my exam and was asked to move on for more tests - I had to ask why and what this will cost. Again, there was a comfab with all parties and it boiled down to potentially getting a bill from Medicare to cover the remaining deductible owed for medical tests. Exhausting! Once I met with my eye doctor - he explained that I hadn't needed an eye appointment for another year - as long as my eyes had not changed. They hadn't changed and I was never told by the cataract doctor that I could have waited 2 years - not 1 - for an eye exam. It's like pulling teeth to get all the info needed to plan your appointments - and I have a dental appointment tomorrow - not pulling teeth, thank god! Unless my eye shape changes - my perscription won't change. Another learning curve resolved!!! My eye doctor said that my perscription had not changed and that he was not going to charge me for the eye exam, which was very nice of him - helping out a somewhat unstable senior. He probably noted the steam wafting off my body and chose to prevent an implosion from occurring and having to clean up the mess. The appointment wasn't all about advocacy - because I love the staff that works there. Remember I was on fire and words just spill out of my mouth at random. When I mentioned writing a blog about doctor appointments and that I was currently writing one about being my own advocate - the young technician remembered me from my last visit and telling everyone that I wrote a book about Menopause. She had purchased it. So, we began a lengthy discussion about menopause, aging, advocacy, peri-menopasue, sex, hysterectomies and many other female issues that arise as you age. We were laughing and at one point crying (mostly me). Hard doing eye exams when you are tearing up. As I was leaving, I had to give her a big hug because without the support of women - we are lost souls. I'll forever be known as the crazy old menopause lady in room 3. I needed a hug after all that as well. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and may need to meditate (free medication) before I leave - because doctor appointments are so haaaarrrrrrd!

So, my point is - growing old(er) and being a senior is a full-time and often thankless job for many of us! I'm the unsung hero in my own little universe (Broadway Show) along with millions of tuneless seniors. We need to break out in song as one to be heard above the din of the white man chaos!

I was born in 1958 - the Boomer years - and chose a career path (acting) that didn't include pensions and lifelong benefits. I watched pensions and retirement perks slowly seep away in the U.S. around my 40's-50's - so people who are now 60-65 are less fortunate in that previous windfall. I had a client tell me that she was forced to retire early because the new CEO was cutting pension plans and she didn't want to lose her benefits - only to read in the news that this same CEO got a year-end bonus of $5 million for his brilliant bottom-line company growth savings tactics. They didn't report that the "growth" was stripping employees of their benefits. My husband and I don't have kids - so for those who did - it's even harder. Of course, as a result of being unable to have kids - we have no one to care for us in our old(er) age. My husband and I are alone and will be changing each other's diapers without the aid of children. A whole new level of intimacy!

Then why do I feel like all my/our hard work and decades of planning are in jeopardy? I think you can guess where I'm going with this blog. If you voted for Trump - I encourage you to continue reading. If you didn't vote for Trump - Thank You!

I'm not naive when it comes to our fractured government - but never in my most terrifying nightmares did I ever imagine the Trump dictatorship of lies, ignorance, vengance, evil and more lies. I loathed this spoiled narcissistic lying misogynistic bully when I lived and worked in NYC. His garish and pathetic bravado, along with his daddy issues, was ridiculed by everyone. His corruption and abuse was splattered all over the intelligent media sources. We knew what a low-liffe conman he was in the 80's - and it somehow managed to get worse as he aged. The only thing legendary about this lowlife is his lack of education and his compulsion to lie whenever he opens his yap. Apparently, a large portion of America has looked into the mirror and finally come out of their closets - admitting to themseleves (and the world) that they are just like him - and by "crap-instance" - voted for him - putting the rest of us in this Shit Show! We are being held hostage by a lunatic and his cult of sycophants.

What was once the "land of plenty" is now the land of peanuts, poverty and pittance. America has become an embarrassment to the rest of the world.

I'm sure I'll be ranting more about this puerile evil troll and the parasites that are feeding off him - but I need to discuss growing old(er) as my full-time job!

Recently in Orlando visiting my nephew and niece taking selfies like a millennial pro!

I've already talked about turning 65 and joining Medicare. This "job application" was a f**king monster. I'm tech savvy enough to navigate their website, but it is saturated with clicks - and then more clicks - etc. In order to piece together the answers to your initial questions - you've clicked your way to forgetting what you were looking for. I felt bogged down with analysis paralysis each time I tried to decide on my future health plan. When I tried to call someone - whether it was Medicare or the Maryland State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) - you were put in a queue that was 3 hours or longer - listening to bad elevator music. They usually hang up on you after an hour. When I called AARP - I talked to someone fairly quickly and he was super nice - but I knew more about Medicare than he did. At least he now knows that he must sign up for Medicare at 65 or suffer the costly consequences - unless he's a multi-millionaire, than who gives a flying f**k. After about 3-4 months of intense research leading up to my October birthday - I felt somewhat secure in my selections and bit the bullet and signed up. It was exhausting!!

But the fun didn't end there. Because I chose Original Medicare A B - plus a supplemetal insurance plan with UHC AARP - my new job is advocating for my health - because nobody else cares! Every appointment must be carefully researched and doctors vetted. I am once again on the Medicare site often making sure that my Gastroenterologist is Medicare assigned, accepts UHC AARP and that (after being probed) my colonoscopy is covered and has no surprise bills coming y way for the next 2 years. For example: if the Medicare assigned anesthesiologist calls in sick the day of my procedure and they pull in someone else that is NOT Medicare assigned - then I'm f**ked! If they so much as walk into the room where I'm awaiting my knockout juice for my procedure - then they can charge me for being present. If they offer you a band aid or mint - don't take it! You'll be charged! So, as I make the appointment for this colonoscopy - I'm carefully (OCDing) asking these vital questions prior to even committing to this doctor. Demanding assurances from the Medical Secretary while talking about the appointment - making sure they follow my $$ requests. I'm also documenting all these conversations. My sister, who is in the medical field, told me to cover my (soon to be violated) ASS! Once again, being old(er) is a Full Time Job!! The kick in the teeth is once you turn 65 - you get the disease called, "Body Betrayal!" The clock starts ticking in decline (reverse) mode!

When you sign up for Medicare A B - you also need supplemental insurance to cover costs that Medicare only partially covers (or not at all - like an annual physical). Then you need a separate Drug Plan, Dental Plan, Vision Plan and possibly Hearing Plan. It's cumbersome and confusing at times - but growing old(er) can be difficult to navigate, maintain and pay all your insurance bills. You have to check prior to your appointment if you are covered or the exact amount you will pay out of pocket and then double check it again. I am occasionally surprised with some cost or deductible that I thought had already been covered or fulfilled. Painful and expensive!!

Still in Orlando loving the weather and happy to be outside and not inside our truck!

Something I learned during my first career and first marriage is that you are alone and better have a back-up plan. For example: in my first marriage, no one had my back, and I was treated like a temporary cheap fixture that was purchased on a trial-and-error-basis until they could find a better model! This nightmare family made it their goal to be rude, nasty and make my life a living hell. Pushing my "niceness boundaries" until I either caved to their bully tactics or packed my bags. I chose the latter. Sadly, the only two people I liked were not my ex's blood relatives and both passed away around my nuptials. They were wonderful human beings and much missed. So, once again, I was my own advocate in divorcing these evil trolls and moved on before I checked myself into a loony bin!

Next up in my senior career is applying for my full Social Security benefits at 66 and 8 months. WHATEVER YOU DO - DO NOT TRY CALLING THE NATIONAL MAIN LINE OF SSA! (As of today - you apparently can't call the main line or even log into your account because of DOGE and Trump). My blood is boiling!!) Once again, another stressful learning curve. Luckily, I went to the local SSA office nearby a while ago and read a book for an hour before I was called into one of the agent's booths. She informed me that I was too early (eager) to make an appointment for my application and to call SSA on April 1st to set it up. She gave me the local SSA phone number which is easier to get through to a human. I questioned her on the April 1 date because you are allowed to make an appointment up to 4 months prior to your full benefit status. She insisted that I was wrong - that it was 3 months prior not 4. I called March 1st and was able to make an appointment!! I hope I don't get her when I sign up for my full benefits. The man that helped me from the local SSA office was very nice, informative and even called me back when he ran into a glitch while attempting to make my appointment. He called me back the next morning before he started work and completed my assigned date. A month ago, I could do this all online - but have always preferred face-to-face human contact. Depending on your situation - they may require a plethora of proof to legitimately get your benefits. Another part of my old(er) age job beyond research, is patience and persistence! I just pray that my SSA office isn't erased from existence before my May 1st appointment. FU DOGE! Or as I call them DOUCHE! Adorable senior citizens will tear them to shreds if they continue to f**k with our SSA!!!

So now I have a massive concern, that my Social Security (and Medicare) will be stolen from me by Mr. Trump and his puppet-master Musk (and his gestapo). I have a small window of time to apply for SSA and get my ass probed for science (cancer) - before ptentially losing these aging privileges! I can't assume (make an Ass of U and Me) that this current sham of an administration and the silent Congress won't destroy this very important segment of my retirement. It's disgusting that SSA (which I contributed to for over 4 decades) and Medicare (assisting US seniors) is being threatened by a bunch of millionaires and billionaires. Worrying about my future was dumped onto my daily workload! None of his voters thought of this when they checked that box in the voting booth! If you wanted to ruin your life then do it. But, how dare you ruin mine too!

My sister sent me a cheerful card to erase the hate. Female Rage!!!

Let's not forget about all the scammers (Trump and Musk, etc.) that prey on seniors. Making sure that you don't accidentally "click' on that link in a suspicious email is part of my job as a security monitor! There are way too many nasty lowlifes in this world that find joy in destroying innocent lives. It's a cyber jungle out there!! Beware all the Scammers!!

Another senior project is figuring out how to monitize my power of invisibility. It's a fun super-power - until it isn't. Invisibility comes with great responsibility. Being your own advocate requires being not only seen but heard. So speak loudly and slowly! I tell women to yell, "OMG! I'm invisible! I have a Super Power!!!" I guarantee they will pay attention or call security.

Spending my senior years invisible and irrelevant - having to spend my retirement worrying about all the disinformation and losing my retirement - having to deal with potential illnesses due to aging - is not what I envisioned when I was 20, 30, 40 or even 50. I already retired from one bully and became my own "boss." I didn't sign up (vote) for a bunch of bullies (Musk/Trump) trying to do a hostile takeover (illegally) of my company (me) and my future!

I'm surprised I haven't received one of Elon's emails asking me what I accomplished this week. Potentially being fired for being old(er). Firstly, I wouldn't reply to a nazi lunatic billionaire and secondly, I'd email him, "What have you accomplished that was for the good of mankind this week, Elon?" Since he only works for his own gain and pocketbook - I'd have to FIRE HIM!!

I think that I'd be enjoying my 60's a lot more if I wasn't constantly looking over my shoulder in fear of this insane troll administration. I want and need to keep my senior advocacy job, so I can survive a little longer.

Growing old(er) is a full-time job! Being my own advocate is my full-time job. We work hard every day just getting out of bed, bending over, remembering where you last put your keys, paying bills, finding all new doctors, being happy, surviving.....etc. Navigating all the bullshit, learning all the new technology, fighting for recognition and remaining relevant - can be debilitating for an old(er) person. But we persevere despite the opposition.

Remember - waking up each day is a job! It's a privilege growing old(er) - because some of us are not able to.

Last stop before home. Horne's Diner in Port Royal VA. They size doesn't matter, unless it's a French Fry!

Give yourself a little Meno-plause!!

If anyone would like to share their foible(s) or aging stories or your full-time job as a senior - we could commiserate on our peculiarities and frustrations - with an open forum of like-minded challenged adults. No shameing on this blog!!

If you want even more info on life, menopause, aging and other fun observations – not only check out my book but I have 38 more blogs that go into all sorts of funny and informative crap about being a woman of many years, experiences and observations . My doctor appointment and middle child blogs are a hoot!! It’s better to educate with honesty, horror, humility and humor than remain silent. 

There are countless books competing for readers' attention, which is why the power and importance of book reviews cannot be overstated. They serve as gateways to a book's world. And offer potential readers insight into what they can expect. Plus, book reviews are crucial for discoverability, marketing, and boosting sales, especially for indie authors."  By Barnes & Noble Press/Blog

I would really appreciate some reviews. Amazon takes them VERY SERIOUSLY and it really helps my ranking, relevancy, algorithm and ego.

Please help spread the word that my book is available on Amazon - Menopause the Horror, Humility, and Humor of It All!

Thanks again for your support and encouragement. I am so humbled by your kindness. You are forever my Super Hero’s!!!

Remember – Women Ignite and Women Unite! 

Thanks for taking the time to read my book and my blog. Tell all your OLD(er) friends, family, superheroes and SM followers.

Let’s be Friends!!

Colleen McIntosh