Weddings! When dating goes deliciously right!

My favorite image out of many other favorite images. This joyous image speaks volumes!

I want to begin this blog by thanking Dani and Christian for inviting me to witness this perfect union and sharing their wedding photos for this blog. I had so many perfect photos to select from and so little space! Thank you and love you to the moon!

Happiness is holding hands with the person you love and trust forever!

Also, thank you to Abby Bostian for creating such stunning photos - visually commemorating moments that tell a story of love, laughter and eternal joy.

Most of us go to many weddings throughout our lives. My first one as a flower girl who didn't do her petal scattering job due to stage fright and was told that as a result I couldn't keep my flower basket. First harsh reality at 3 years old. Second reality check was that I was not married to my cousin Rodney, the ring bearer. Annulled at a very young age of 3, I became a hardened cynic on the whole nuptial thing.

I've been to a lot of family weddings over the years - big and small. I sang in a couple of them. I had some destination weddings. Bermuda - my college roommate's wedding - that involved me deciding I'd do a cabaret act in the hotel piano bar. Ed's and my trip to England for a Scottish wedding was a hoot! Men do not wear anything underneath their kilts - thank you drunk Scottish men for confirming that myth (wink..wink)! Also, at that same wedding, I had the pleasure of getting stoned with the really cool/cute priest in his home - right after I had diarrhea in his bathroom. BTW - there were about 6 other female wedding guests with me, doing the same thing! Fun times!!

I've been to inexpensive private weddings and shamefully expensive huge weddings. Getting gently removed by two very large stone-faced imposing men - because I was hungry, bored, abandoned and decided to wander around druing the reception and see how the rich and powerful live by checking out every room in the Russian Embassy. Yes, the Russian Embassy allows wedding receptions rentals. At a huge Gettysburg soiree - dancing to Michael Jackson's "Thriller" while hogging the photographer - without my knowledge - and upsetting the bride and groom. She (the photographer) was fascinated by this old(er) strange woman rambunctiously dancing and singing by herself. Music makes me immune to wedding etiquette.

Weddings can be boring, hostile, falling off your stool drunken, overwhelming, expensive and a laugh riot! Marriages dissolve and marriages survive. The recent celebration was none of the above - except it was more than a laugh riot - it was a howling-hoot-and-a-half!! This wedding was a flawless example of when dating goes deliciously RIGHT!

Pre-wedding hugs on the beach! They are beautiful people!

When I was young, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (whatever the f**k that means), I was telling (yelling at) everyone that I was NEVER going to get married or have children. I was going to be foot-loose and fancy-free (another absurd idiom - we all have constraints) - independent and content with single status til I died (alone as a snack for all my cats). I'd be the eccentric and artistic (crazy) Aunt who used men for my base needs and then cast them aside when I got bored, irritated or too attached. I smugly maintained this credo until I was close to my third decade mark. Biology took over my brain and desperation became my new credo. Women's bodies talk to them, sometimes scream at them and often take control like a parasitic alien - forcing them to make decisions that are the antithesis of what their inner self wants. At 30 my bloodsucker forced me to get married, when my inner voice sobbed and railed at me, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD - DON'T DO IT YOU SAD SAD WOMAN!" I did it anyway and have learned that we sometimes make horrendous and painful choices. It took a few years of "not learning my lesson with asshole controlling men" to gain back some control of my saner instincts and held onto Ed (my forever primate) despite my attempts to ruin our relationship before it took hold. Ed saw through my ruse and loved me anyway. No person is perfect - but our love is unconditional even if we irritate the shit out of each other sometimes. Weddings - when everything goes deliciously right!!

At 66, it's a distant memory to recall those hormonal surges of love and butterflies when you meet someone that could be "The One!" But, when you attend a younger person's wedding - you get pangs of fresh adoration and innocent hope - that is infectious in this universe of unlimited exhileration and heart-pounding love. It's intoxicating. We (women) are genetically pre-disposed to go all gooey inside at weddings! I always carry a wad of tissues. No matter how old or hardened to life - you are enchanted by this moment of uniting two beautiful souls. You ignore that first unholy matrimony and rejoice in the union with the man sitting next to you. It's life affirming.

So intimate! So perfect! I feel like a peeping aunt!

My niece (Dani) and I have a close relationship. We also have the same sick sense of humor. She has the ability to not only make fun of others with cutting hilarious accuracy - but the ability to make fun of herself in equal measure. She and I have no edit button. We just humiliate ourselves with unreserved self-annihilation and humor. I love this fierce woman!!

My favorite ladies!!

My niece (and now new nephew) got married in June. A wedding that was clearly meant to be!! Dani and Christian are two of my favorite people. I adore and admire them both. Beautiful inside and out. They are ferocious champions for each other and a perfect match. The only time I've heard dating apps actually work and go deliciously right! (Thank god Dani swiped left. Or is it right? I'm so confused! I'm so old!)

"I'm never afraid with you." Winnie the Pooh

Christian and Dani have qualities that make their partnership powerful - accepting and willing to embrace each other's singularities, sense of humor, joy of cooking and dining, voracious appetite for life, empathetic natures, family oriented, pug lovers, movie and music enthusiasts and most importantly - unconditional love for eachother. When I visited them a few months prior to their wedding, we had a conversation about our partnerships. Christian asked me why I married Ed, my husband. I didn't have to think long and hard about my response. I immediately replied, "Because Ed is the most honest person I've ever met and he loves me unconditionally." I was sitting in the back of their car while we were driving north on 95 and saw Christian look over at Dani. His expression was content and resolved - meaning they had already had this discussion and fully understood the meaning of unconditional love. I had answered correctly. The look Christian gave Dani made my heart sing.

Being happy for this union is a drab understatement.

Like many couples of this younger generation - they decided to pay for their own wedding. My unwarranted advice was to fly to Las Vegas for a long weekend, tell their friends to come if they want to witness their union officiated by Elvis, or not! That's what I did for my second wedding and we had a blast! Our weekend was a time of unfiltered joy. No pressures or drama. Dani and Christian politely spent 1 or maybe 2 seconds contemplating this sage advice - and then said, "No!" Actually, it was, "No, thank you." They are very polite and patient with me. I felt compelled to offer this economy option - as an Aunt who loves and cares for them - even though most people dream of having a traditional wedding. I applaud them on being honest with me and also not bankrupting their parents. I cringe when younger people want an enormous wedding that could feed a small country for a year. No matter what size, they are NEVER cheap. They kept the invitations to a minimum and gave themselves time to plan according to their budget. Thank god we made the cut!!

"Love is taking a few steps backward maybe even more to give way to the happiness of the person you love." Winnie the Pooh

The build up to this wedding was excrutiating (for me). I was so excited. I missed the girls weekend wedding dress shopping for Dani. She ultimately decided on being traditional - white dress/gown. Those of us who couldn't attend were given blow-by-blow images of her wedding dress selections. They shopped in Boston and had 3 venues to find the perfect gown. Initially, Dani was looking for a short wedding dress and put one on hold - since this was the first stop. Gobs of choices at the next wedding shop - but they all seemed to have one thing most of us disliked. The whole point of selecting a wedding gown is to look magical and beautiful in it. HOWEVER, you also need to account for weight fluctuation, being able to dance in it, is it at least 75% comfortable and ultimately be able to sit down on a chair or toilet. Most importantly, the cost can't be your entire wedding budget!! Wedding shops may have a lot of choices - but it can be overwhelming - especially if the sales clerk is a twat.

"How do you spell love?" asked Piglet "You don't spell it, you feel it." Said Pooh

Dani's last wedding dress destination was not a typical "Wedding Dress Establishment" but my favorite store of all time - Anthropologie!!! I can't afford to shop there whenever I want - but it is the only place I go when I need something special (or someone cleverly gives me a birthday gift certificate). A lot of people don't realize that Anthro (I'm on nickname terms with them) has a wonderful wedding category. I had suggested that store to Dani early on - because of selfish reasons. She announced Anthro as the winner-winner-wedding dress-wower!! It was stunning, simple, elegant, unique and looked perfect on her. I take all the credit for her selection! Not really. (FYI - Anthropologie used one of their wedding photos on their social media) She ended up keeping the first short white wedding dress as well - to wear at the reception. She also wore white the entire 4-day wedding get together. That's dedication!

"Any day spent with you is my favorite day!" Winnie the Pooh

That was a huge decision completed. The wedding ceremony venue was booked for an outdoor park in York Maine - the Hartley Mason Reserve Park. The view was stunning and the grounds were green flowered perfection. You could reserve the Mansion on site for a ridiculous amount - but they kept it simple utilizing nature as decorations and stunning views. The only concern was weather. They supplied white umbrellas as a back up plan - but it all worked out! Overcast and once we wiped off the dewy chairs - they had perfect photography cloud coverage - so no sun-teared eyes or sunglasses. Our family is already a squinty smiling crowd - no one has eyes when we are beaming with happiness - so we don't need extra help with Mr. Sunshine! The weather wasn't hot or cold - but Goldilocks temperature.

"A hug is always the right size." Winnie the Pooh

The reception was held at a party venue in downtown Portland - called Ballast. We got to know it well - because a bunch of us helped set it up the day before the wedding. Thank god we drove Ed's truck up - as that became the supplies carrier. It was a really cool party place with wall to ceiling windows - a live show for all the passersby!! I couldn't wait to plaster myself against the windows in my pink tutu! I did a trial run during set up!

When they are together - it's like the world goes silent.

This destination wedding was a multi-day event. I kept asking for details a couple months ahead (actually, 10 months). I admit that my OCD got a little too demanding. My poor sister took the brunt of my mania - but I also bugged Dani as well. She graciously sent us the itinerary. I love her tolerance and diligence in handling me and I love lists!!! Ed and I drove up on a Thursday and arrived in time to check into the Airbnb that my sister booked. GPS Siri delayed our arrival by taking us over the GW bridge in NYC. I kept telling Ed it was wrong - but he didn't believe me until we were in a wall of traffic snail-sliming our approach to the terrifying bridge (I have a fear of bridges - that's another blog). We stayed with Bridget (my sister), Michael (my brother-in-law) and Noreen (my mom). York is a small coastal town with not only full-time residents, but a LOT of rentals/Airbnb's. Too many! We almost missed our "street" entrance to the destination. It was more of a path than a road. We pulled in and were immediately barraged with these obviously hand-made signs of little wooden children - alerting us to go SLOW or children would die!!! That's what it felt like - without actually saying it. After we passed all the scary death signs, we wound our way around a maze of beach homes. We finally found our rental thanks to my sisters Anti-Trump decals on their car. We got in our hugs and kisses and unpacked the truck. My only complaint with this Airbnb was the scarcity of lamps. Our bedroom had a horrible blinding light fixture in the ceiling - so reading before sleepy-time was NOT going to happen. Also, there was no room to park my enormous suitcase without tripping over it - so we dumped our luggage in the hall and living room. Over packers say, "What?"

Too many pictures to choose from and all perfection!

We didn't stay long - except to drop off our bags and pee - before we got back into the car to go over to downtown York for ice cream. I didn't complain! We met up with my nephew and family (brother of Dani) - and enjoyed the view, weather, my sweet great-nieces and the fantastic ice cream. Ed and I were hungry! We'd only had rest stop food up to that point - but I needed my sugar fix! I decided to tell my cholesterol that I was on vacation and to shut up! We eventually headed over to the main drag in York - which included the beautiful beaches and Dani/Christian's Airbnb. We ran into D&C at a restaurant right near their rental and shanghaied them and their friends. Lot's of hugs, squealing and introductions and more hugs and screaming and making jokes and then more hugs. We took off for my nephew's Airbnb and left them alone. Dani and Christian were waiting for all their guests (wedding party friends) to arrive that night.

An aunt with her nieces twirling and spinning in the wet sand - could life get any better than this!

After we toured their rental and I played with the kids in their bedroom - trying not to break anything - we went to the beach - which was perfect to walk barefoot and f**king cold water to wade in!! But, we had fun with the kids running and screaming and chasing my sister. Lottie discovered how much fun wet sand is and how much more fun it was to fling at my sister (her Nana). I remember her running by me yelling something and then 2 seconds later my 2.5 year-old great niece flew by in pursuit - with two fist-fulls of sand mud and arms akimbo - while screaming. Toddlers defy the laws of physiscs. Somehow those two little chubby legs can pump so fast that they can catch up with a healthy adult running full tilt. Magic!! This phenomenon was repeated a few times while the rest of us leisurely strolled, watched the sunset and laughed at Lottie. My sister was wearing black and clearly covered with sand all over her back, hair, neck, legs, etc. Bridget was crying - she was laughing so hard. We finally calmed down the mini Godzilla (toddler) - only for her to resume as we were ready to leave. We never did get dinner - but exhaustion won.

"The best part of any day is when you and me become We!" Winnie the Pooh

Day 2 - Friday - was a day of setting up the reception at the facility in Portland. Ballast, a venue for events, was located in south Portland - not far from the seaport area. Ed met up with Christian at their new home to fill up his truck with wedding decorations. The ladies - Dani, Bridget, Jamie and I - went to Trader Joe's to get flowers and snacks prior to going to Ballast. (FYI - Forgive me if I'm forgetting the actual sequence of events and those participating in each event - I'm old and can no longer retain. Thank you!) The four of us are a sisterhood team. We've vacationed together and also have our own text group called - Female Rage. This raging text group of female angst evolved from not only our friendship but our disgust at our current administration. An outlet for funny meme's and photos and voicing our contempt and rage in a safe space. Very cathartic.

A bunch of us arrived at Ballast and started putting together the venue per Dani and Christian's direction. It was fun and with all the people helping - was prepped quickly. Really cool venue. We got the grand tour - because we needed to know where everything was being staged so we could help during the reception. We had one guy, Nick (very sweet), running the whole she-bang and knew he'd need assistance. As we were winding down - Ed and I realized we hadn't eaten - again. Ed had a breakfast of sorts - but I was going on caffeine - and getting fungry!! The restaurant next to Ballast got high recommendations - but Ed insisted we go to the pub across the street. Mom came with us and we entered an empty restaurant at lunch time. I wanted to leave but Ed couldn't admit he was wrong and we sat down. Then Ed insisted I order a lobster roll. I did not want to waste my appetite or money on a sub-par lobster roll in a restaurant that clearly was a bar - not an eatery. I caved to Ed's insistance on what was best for me. It was the WORST lobster roll in the history of lobster rolls. Even their french fries sucked. When I went to the bathroom - pissed off and still hangry - mom apparently pointed out a vehicle that was being ticketed on the street but neglected to tell Ed that it was his truck. Adding insult to lobster roll injury - Ed got a ticket.

Best hugger ever!!

Nubble Lighthouse!

These ladies were so happy together! Their love and laughter was contagious. Happy Birthday!

Ed and I got a chance to walk around the area we were staying in - which was near the Nubble LIghthouse. It's a beautiful area and the views are spectacular. I even took pix of a trio of women who went scuba diving in the cove for one of them as a birthday present. They came out of the water with funny birthday party hats on top of their scuba gear (minus one because it got lost). They even posed for a picture!! I almost left with them - they were having such a good time! We all had to get back to York for the evening festivities at D&C's. We were in charge of picking up the catering - at a closed establishment outside of York. We went through a short alley behind the caterers storefront and managed to figure out our pick up order. If cops had stopped by while we were ransacking the walk-in fridge - I would have been well-dressed for my mug shot! Not a typical stuffy rehearsal dinner - but a gathering of most of the wedding guests for a pre-celebration for Saturday's wedding. Everyone but Ed, myself and a girlfriend of a groomsman were at the park venue for wedding rehearsal. Ed and I hung out with Sarah (name???) and relaxed until they all returned. It was fun dressing up a bit and feeling the excitement in the air for the upcoming nuptials. I even set up the catering food - with the help of D&C's friends who trickled in. When I tried to find utensils - I had to go through every drawer in that huge kitchen - until I finally opened the last drawer which made absolutely no sense. Every person who came in to look for a utensil did the exact same thing and we all decided we were going to rearrange the kitchen drawers. Mob OCD!!!

All the young and the old(er) wedding guests hit the beach for a sunset stroll!

Once Dani & Christian and the rehearsal party arrived we all started introducing ourselves and then headed for the beach, to take pictures (not of us - but of the wedding couple). The water was still chilly, but there is something about walking barefoot on a beach while wearing a nice dress. It just added more magic to the whole pre-wedding experience.

I'm far left with my nephew Scott! The water was cold but what a gorgeous place!

"It's not what we have, but who we have." Winnie the Pooh

The guests arrived in dribbles and quickly filled up the house. It was a really nice rental with a fantastic view of the water. But, like any home, everyone migrated to the kitchen. I managed to get at least one mini sandwich in my food-hole before it became too difficult to navigate that area. Drinks were flowing and everyone was meeting each other and having a great time. My husband hates crowds, so he sat out on the porch all evening. Like a mafia don - periodically a younger male guest would venture out, sit down and chat for an hour with the old(er) slightly scary alpha male. Once they'd kissed the ring - they moved on and another younger male would take their place. Christian's brother-in-law - Lauren's husband Carl - who plays bass viola for the Boston Symphony - made his way to Ed's porch and was held captive (acutally captivated) for the rest of the evening. It turns out that he was an avid woodworker. Ed studied music for part of his college education and plays numerous instruments, in bands and a huge music buff - so I thought they'd spend the eve discussing music. I was wrong. They talked wood all night. Both equally passionate about wood, tools, sawdust (woodworking), creating wood things - with spouses just happy they found each other (so we didn't have to hear about wood all night). Carl even sat with us at the wedding ceremony - because he was Ed's newest BFF. He was an absolute doll!!

It was lovely meeting all of Christian's family! It was also awesome meeting all of D&C's friends. Most I had heard stories of and finally got to meet them face to face. I felt like I already knew some of them and they felt the same way! After talking with so many people - I eventually insinuated myself in a small circle of women. Dani, Emily and Div were all chatting and I decided I wanted to be young again and wedged myself into their triad. We yakked and laughed for an hour at least. I wanted to pee my panties numerous times (I may have inadvertantly dribbled) because we had created this 4-sided-female-wall of yammering all at once and making each other laugh harder each time one of us added some absurdity to the conversation. We talked about men, weddings, menopause, acting, singing, life, etc. Dani said to me, "Aunt Colleen - you were on Broadway!! Sing!" I responded, "I've never been ON Broadway, just near by. What am I? A monkey? Sing, Monkey! Sing!!" That eventually led me to say, "We should be on Broadway and do this as a show. The four of us standing in a circle, free-thinking topics and just ad-libbing random thoughts, nonsense and laughing." Pause here "And then we just stop and walk off the stage. End of show." We all burst out laughing and then I said, "And, bow. Curtain!" We were peeing our pants (I was) and thought it was the best idea - EVER!! I'm sure women would get it and would love this unscripted show of the astonishing, hysterical observations and stories that women come up with. I felt that I'd made 2 new friends that night (in my overly enthusiastic imagination anyway). I adore Dani so much and her besties are equally adorable.

I finally grabbed a cookie because I was starving, once again, only to be cholesterol-shamed by Jamie. It disappeared so fast - it didn't count.

FYI - apparently, the wedding rehearsal did not go as well as planned, because the wedding event planner for the park was a Beeyatch!! Dani had every right to be a Bridezilla - but one of her besties (Emily) did it for her to save her from bursting a blood vessel (or going to jail)!

Three generations of love and laughter.

Besties forever! Love these ladies!!

"A day without laughter is a day wasted." Winnie the Pooh

We got a short respite Friday night - before we had an early rise for Day 3 - Wedding Day - so the ladies (Bridget, Mom and I) showered, grabbed all our wedding finery and dressed in pink pajama outfits - to watch/help Dani get ready for the wedding at 8am. My sister (mother of the bride) got us matching PJ's. Mine were short shorts - so I wore my pink toeless ballet tights to contain my chubby knees! Dani was dressed in a white satin teddy, robe with feathers and matching slippers. She was stunning! The women they hired for photography and videography were fantastic. Abby Bostian is a world-class wedding and elopement photographer. She had flown in from doing a wedding in France prior to Dani's. I thought she was a friend of Dani's because she was so laid back and friendly and was staying at the Airbnb as well. She had a partner with her doing the video portion while she concentrated on photography. They also fit in so well - that we treated them like family. We loved them!! The pictures were the best I've ever seen for a wedding and party. She/they were that good!!! The boudoir photos were beautiful. Dani is so photogenic and has a smile that could melt a thousand ships (better than sinking them).

Every moment was filled with joy!

Beauty comes from within and magnifies the moment.

My ageless Mom! We are all so lucky!

Meanwhile, as we all got ready, I somehow lost my husband. I told him to come over to D&C's place with Michael (my brother-in-law). Michael showed up without Ed. Michael had no clue why Ed wasn't with him. MEN!! Apparently, Ed insisted on driving his truck and ended up at the wedding park venue. He was alone and wondered where everyone was. (Sigh....) Just as I was ready to call (scream at him) - my phone rang and I held back my rage and told him come to me so I had a ride to the venue. I was a little nervous because Ed got dressed without my supervision. But, he did fine! I was able to shove part of a bagel down my gullet and consume a vat of iced coffee - but still unsatisfied.

My cheeks hurt by the end of the weekend!

I bought a pink tutu skirt from Anthropologie for my wedding outfit. It was chilly out, so I was also able to wear the pink cropped sweater (from Nordstroms college girl section) as well. I also purchased (half off I might add!!) a retro Victorian pair of ankle boots that went perfectly with my tutu and personality. I felt like a princess. (pretty in pink blog) I got a lot of compliments on those boots - so they would have been worth full price!!

The wedding dress reveal!

We all headed to Hartley Mason Park for the ceremony. Dani kept her wedding dress a secret from Christian (and her dad) until the big reveal. The view was of York Harbor and breathtaking. The chairs faced the ocean view on a slight incline - so you got a drop off effect just beyond where the nuptials were being done. Everyone looked stunning in their wedding finery and Ed and I snagged seats just behind the honored parents and wedding party. Dani was up behind flowering bushes surrounded by friends to hide her splendor from view. Elsie and Lottie (great nieces) were the flower girls and dressed in green and pink flowered gowns - like two little fairy sprites. The rain held off and it was actually perfect. Cloudy and dramatic. Once the ceremony started, we got to watch Christian and his mom enter, my sister with the grandmom, best men, best women and flower girls - all looking stunning. Christian was so handsome in his dark blue suit. His mom looking happy, proud and elegant. My sister looked gorgeous in a sparkly gold and pink mini dress, Mom looked lovely (grandmom) in a purple suit (and looks younger than me - so everyone says). The brides friends - Emily and Div - were stunning in blue. The groomsmen looked adorable! Lauren, Christian's sister, officiated. She did a phenomonal job - sweet and loving - a perfect choice. She is never NOT smiling and a breath of fresh air human being. Her husband Carl, sat next to Ed, to keep him occupied with a like-minded woodworker companion. The ceremony was heartfelt and beautiful. Dani and Christian wrote promise vows as well. We laughed and we cried. Best vows I've ever heard.

Christian's love for Dani is shared in every photo!

My brother-in-law Michael couldn't be happier!

Vows consummate a marriage...

...but unconditional love makes a marriage.

Lauren cheered and we all joined in the celebration! Great Kiss!!

It was a beautiful and intimate wedding - bonding two exquisite people. A unique couple that compliment each other and so attractive that they were approached to be models (as a couple) when they lived in Memphis. So pretty it's mildly irritating - but equally awesome on the inside - so we can forgive them for their perfections.

Radiant couple!

Now I'm sorry I was in the first couple rows - I missed this moment!! Arrrrrrrggggghhh!

After wedding bliss!

Young love is sublime!

Stunning couple!

After the wedding, we headed to downtown Portland for the reception. D&C had a bus reserved to take a bunch of us. Mom and I went with a group, while Ed drove down (in case we (Ed) wanted to leave earlier than the young-uns). We had to kill some time before the actual party started - so our friend Jamie - bribed the bus driver to drop us off at their hotel. We hung out in the bar and had fun chatting. I didn't partake of the charcuterie plate - but figured I'd have plenty to eat at the reception. They ordered an Uber since we all had our fancy (painful) footwear on and thought the walk to Ballast would be too uncomfortable. The Uber driver was confused when we told him the destination - but once we went literally around the corner and parked - we realized that the bus driver took the LONG route to the hotel and we absolutely could have walked. That's embarrassing enough - but to make it more humiliating - we took 2 Uber's.

Guest signing white board - funny keepsake!

Donut climbing wall of sugar!

We got there a little early before it got crowded. D&C had a white board set up as the guest registry. We had to draw a funny pix of ourselves and sign it. It was hilarious watching people draw in miniature and a great idea. I drew my menopause avatar (badly) but Dani recognized it. They had pug napkins (for Monkey and Poptart) to commenorate their adorable furballs. They had a wedding mirror for people to take selfies. They had framed notes that they'd written each other since they met that were precious and funny. There was a donut wall in the bar area. Ballast was a layered party venue - with downstairs dedicated to food prep and storage, upstairs was the entry point and room for gathering plus bar, and then up another level was where food was served and for dancing. They had one large single-use bathroom that my sister outfitted with disco lights - but we secretly knew of another small toilet down in the prep area as back-up. Unfortunately, a lot of ladies found that back-up - so all bathrooms were backed up. Women can sniff out a bathroom within a ten-mile radius! Food started arriving - pizzas, salads, etc. - and the Lucille/Ethel hi-jinks ensued. My sister recruited me to help Nick in carrying pizzas up to the banquet table. We are both wearing heels. I'm in a long tutu and she's in a sequinned mini dress. A pizza in each hand running up a steep flight of stairs and then navigating through a throng of partiers and up a shorter flight to swerve through more party-goers to the table - and repeat this for about 10 trips. Nick couldn't keep up with us and one of the pizza delivery containers had ended up on the sidewalk outside. Not the smoothest food execution - but we worked with what we had - three of us. The food disappeared quicker than we could refill. Eventually, I had to stop and eat something!! I got a few mouthfuls of salad (sweating and standing and shoveling). It was a short respite before we started all over again. I'm not complaining - but was worried I'd take a tumble in my tutu on one of those flights.

They danced beautifully while in the uncomfortable spotlight!

He has eyes only for her!

The beautiful wedding couple did their choreographed sexy dance. Father and daughter did a dance together as well. Speeches were given and tears were shed. My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. Apparently I don't smile this hard for an extended period of time! I need to practice more. Might creep the neighbors out - but worth it!

Pug Crashers!

Two panting, pudgy progeny!

Poptart and Monkey all dressed up for wedding photos!

Poppy's butt was introduced to her Aunt Colleen!

Laughing together is the closest thing to a perfect marriage!

I took a break to get some fresh air when I spied two pugs outside - surrounded by a gaggle of young well-dressed women. D&C's pug-sitter brought two furry wedding-crashers to visit their mommy and daddy. I spent a nice break meeting Poptart (for the first time) and watching the mayhem. There was a small park island between traffic lanes and I somehow got my 2 great-nieces across the traffic without going to the hospital. D&C were there to give cuddles and reassurances to their progeny. There were some great pix taken during this pug-break-in-the-festivities.

Just love this picture!

Within an hour of the reception, my husband decided he couldn't take the noise/crowd anymore and took off. We both hate crowded events - but I can handle it for loved ones and dancing. I don't think he told anyone else (Bride & Groom?) because I spent a good portion of the evening answering everyone's question "Where's Ed??" I was a little jealous that everyone missed Ed and ignored me after their inquiry. I was mildly pissed off - but reluctantly understood why he left - and then realized, "Do I have a ride home to York?" Fun times with Ed!

Only showing my dance photos because I love my tutu!

This picture makes me laugh! Thank you Dani!

I spent the rest of the night not caring about refilling food because everyone was busy drinking and dancing had begun. My sister and I are usually dance partners at weddings and we danced for about 2 hours. It was so much fun watching the young friends dancing in a big group - doing shots - singing to every song (they all know and remember the words) - having a blast at Ballast! Two of Christian's friends (who will remain nameless) were dancing togther (I'll call it dancing for lack of a better description). One was stomping like Godzilla, including the roars/high legged lumbering clomping and the other was following behind him trying to remain upright. This bacchanal duo had a great time and impressive stamina - teetering but never falling. One of them had a hypnotic fascination with my sister. She is a fabulous dancer and very sexy - and he kept watching from across the room and drunk-swaying towards her - but never making the effort to join us. He did this a few times throughout the evening and Bridget never knew it. I was always facing her, so I was transfixed by this young mans adoration and his stagger-dance display of ritual courtship! He would slowly weave-creep forward as if pulled by an invisible rope - mesmerized by my rhythmic sister - and just as he got within grabbing distance - she would dance to a different location and he would carefully turn around and return to his starting position. After about 3 attempts, he deflated and remained fixed to his partnerless corner. He never allowed Bridget to be impressed by his elaborate movements (trying not to fall over). It was sweet and tragic - all at the same time. I told my sister after the wedding weekend - so he could hold on to his dignity. She was flattered.

I love these women so much I want to scream!!

The lovely photographer and videographer were busy recording the soiree for prosperity. I'm somewhat oblivious when I'm dancing and kept photo/video bombing them a large portion of the evening. I kept apologizing to them - but it didn't prevent me from doing it over and over again. Eventually, the videographer told me that she got some great footage of me. Payback is a bitch with a camera!! It didn't help that my sister and I had just done a dance routine together. Old(er) woman in a pink tutu does "Uptown Funk" by Bruno Mars - in front of 50 young people - while being videoed!! I have no shame when it comes to Bruno!!! BTW - I don't drink - so I have no excuse!

Listen to that still small voice - called bliss!

We had a couple party crashers - who thought this shindig was a bar. We all waved at passers-by because we were being showcased with the wall to wall windows. It was a really fun celebration. Eventually, the senior crowd needed a nappy. I hitched a ride with my sister, brother-in-law and mom. We were hungry and our feet hurt. Ed was in bed asleep and cranky when I turned on the blaring light above our bed - so I changed in the living room - in the dark. Party pooper!

Somewhere over the rainbow was a toddler named Christian!

Day 4 - Sunday was our check out day. We headed over to Dani and Christian's Airbnb for the final goodbyes.

Cute and stylish! Those eyes melt me!

More photos were taken and final barefoot walks on the beech were completed. I huddled with my theatre troupe for one last time - Dani, Emily and Div - to hear about their Uber adventure after the reception. The young wedding couple and friends went out to party after Ballast closed. They split up to get home - women in one car and men in the other. Dani's Uber driver was an uncomfortable adventure. Firstly, he took them the LONG way home. Secondly, he was an aspiring Rap artist. Thirdly, he held them captive (kidnapped) rapping his songs the entire way while driving like a lunatic. Because he was a lunatic! Not a fun wedding without a rapper kidnapping caper. Another great wedding story for the archives.

It was sad and bittersweet saying goodbye to everyone. Hopefully, I'll get to see these fabulous people again. Baby shower perhaps?? I'm sure I've missed some funny moments and twisted some tales - but memory fades much quicker at my age. Lots of hugs and tears later - we headed up to Bangor to stay with my sister and brother-in-law. We were in two cars and strangely Ed and I arrived first. We parked in front of their building to unload - but we had no way in. Michael missed the 95 exit and was going the wrong way to Bangor - so he retraced his steps and started over again - delaying departure. Ed wanted to leave the truck and go wandering around to kill time - but I kept saying we can't park there - it's illegal. He scoffed at me and took off. Just as I caught up to him - my sister texted the old(er) white male driver mishap and would be about a half hour getting there and to NOT park in front of the building or we'll get a ticket. Yes, another ticket!! So we turned around and moved the car. Why he didn't believe me the first time is strange because I'm the only one whose been to their appartment and know the rules. But men tend to assume women make shit up! That's another blog to write (White Man Over-Sight)! We found a bar and sat to have a refreshment. I ordered a diet coke and went to the bathroom. When I returned, Ed was furious! His beer cost $2 (Sunday special) and my coke cost $6. A bit wierd but I was so tired and hungry and didn't care. Bridget called that they had arrived and Ed stormed out of the bar with me running in tow after my two-year-old husband.

Once we were unpacked - Ed calmed down. He was as impressed as I was with this gorgeous apartment/view. After the tour - we all realized that it was getting late and that some of us hadn't eaten a real meal in 4 days. We went to a nearby restaurant called "Blaze" (most were closed because it was Sunday?). The menu was mouth-watering - I had numerous options to select from. I chose the black bean burger on a brioche bun with duck fat fries. OMG!!! It was the best bean burger I've ever had and I ate this gi-normous veggie monster in record time - groaning in gastro-heaven - while also shoving duck fat fries into my pie-hole - without breathing! We were almost in tears because we were so f**king hungry/happy.

We slept like old wrinkly big fat whiny babies!

We had a lovely visit in Bangor for a few days, visited the great nieces, had my lobster roll, ate my cornbread with pulled chicken and then headed back to Portland for one night. Ed and I got to stay at Dani and Christian's new home and hang out with the newlyweds and pug pups. We had a lovely dinner but exhausted. We left the next morning to head home. We were doing pretty well until we hit New Jersey. The sky got so black that our interior lights went on (and it was still daytime) and the radio informed us that we were heading into a tornado watch zone. Torrential rain and suspicious cloud formations followed us until Delaware. We made it home without incident or damage.

My in-laws greeted us along with the furballs. It was nice being home! We had another lovely visit with Ed's parents and all went back to our daily grinds. However, I was sick. I had a horrible cold/flu and lost my voice - again (Maine makes me lose my voice) - then convalesced for 2 weeks. Most everyone was sick after the wedding - not necessarily the same end of the body - if you catch my drift!!

Despite my previous feelings about weddings being a bad idea, financially wasteful, a planning nightmare and a rolll of the dice on the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with - I am so delighted and honored to have been invited to share in Dani and Christian's bonding. I have no doubts that their love will be an enduring passion. Waiting to find the perfect mate - a partner in like, love and life - dedicated to each other - laughing and crying together - is worth the journey. Even in silence you feel complete.

So forget about all the toads you dated prior to this forever vow - it was worth all the warts for Christian to find his Princess Charming!

This picture reminds me that we've been laughing hard for almost 3 decades! Love this child and like this woman! (and love this woman - not just like - but love her - don't want to piss her off - she's got a temper!!)

If anyone would like to share their foible(s) or wedding stories (successful or disastrous) or aging mishaps - we could commiserate on our peculiarities and frustrations - with an open forum of like-minded challenged adults. No shameing on this blog!!

If you want even more info on life, menopause, aging and other fun observations – not only check out my book but I have 43 more blogs that go into all sorts of funny and informative crap about being a woman of many years, experiences and observations . My doctor appointment and middle child blogs are a hoot!! It’s better to educate with honesty, horror, humility and humor than remain silent. 

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Colleen McIntosh